Она постоянно изучает людей. У неё острый ум, и она читает души, отбирая те, что способны дать ей что-то новое и необычное.
Она презирает слабых, презирает тех, чья жизнь расписана, кто говорит «правильные» вещи и не хочет страдать за Правду.
Она ненавидит покой, отнимающий эмоции, стабильность, рождающую однообразие.
Она хочет быть самостоятельной, сильной, волевой и независимой.
Её не удержать в своем стремлении к познанию, как не удержать руками летящую птицу.

"Да ладно, проехали, пока. Как-нибудь увидимся".

Есть люди, которые не умеют удерживать. Неосторожное слово, мимолетный флирт. И ты уже видишь в его глазах пустоту. Он говорит тебе - выбирай сама, он не зовет и не борется за тебя. Не позвонит, не напомнит, не расскажет, как без тебя грустно, а после с улыбкой не скажет, что очень хочет видеть. С ним невозможно понять важна ли ты ему . Он вроде и есть, но его как бы нет. Не звонишь ты, не звонит он. На встречу согласен, но словно из одолжения. Скажи мне - что ты хочешь? И снова ни о чем, о глупостях и ерунде. И эта фраза - никто никому ничего не должен. Да скажи же ты, наконец, чего тебе надо! Зажги огонь! И пусть он погаснет потом, но сейчас от тебя должно быть тепло, чтобы в памяти остались яркие искры, а не этот скучающий вид.

wtf is wrong with men?!

why do they automatically assume that you want them?! why do fucking guys tell me "oh well, you lost your chance" after i turn them down??? what makes them think i even wanted one. and i bet you if i would turn around and want one they will forget about their whole "you lost your chance" bullshit. seriously some guys are so pathetic.. don't you think if i turn down your offers it means that i am not attracted to you. bc if i was, you would know.. trust me! i am not playing hard to get.. i just dont give a shit about you or your lame pick up lines. and i dont care that you drive a m6 or a lamourgini.. it would be more impressive if you had an mba... got it? and if i dont want to sleep with you or go to dinner with you, don't call me a bitch. that just means i have principles and not interested. and i dont give a shit how much money you have in the bank, so stop flashing your gay ass rolex in front of my nose.. its tacky. there are some ppl who still have class and integrity and dont care about such material things. if i wanted to, i would buy all of that for myself. if i really wanted to drive an m6 my mother would buy it for me, but guess what .. i prefer to work for the things i have. i rather get it myself or not drive one at all. so men, stop acting like douchebags bc you give the rest of males a bad name and frankly it looks pathetic. comprende???

i don't get why some things in life happen. i know that they end up making sense later on in, but i am at loss currently. i am surprised how much i matured over the past two years. in this situation i would of reacted different way back when. now i am lever headed and keeping my temper in check. reasoning with myself and handling this the best way possible. i am not even pissed. it aches a little, but my feet are grounded and i am career focused. i am doing the right thing.

So this is the guy thats messing with my head...

...and i don't like it. nobody messes with me, i don't know why i let the shit he says get to me... but it does and i can't stand it. i am starting to rely to much on the shit he says, so i am debating on ending things with him before it gets to deep. we already argue all the time, just because we are too much alike. i don't think this is working for me. there are guys that are offering to give me the world and i am not willing to settle for someone who can't even tell me how he feels about me. i didn't want any of this in first place, so if i am going to do this i need to know that i mean something. or if its just a sexual thing i want to know either way.. i just need things out on the table whatever the fuck it is. i am at a point in my life where i  dont need these stupid mind fuck games, either you are with me or you are not. either way i need to know so i dont pretend there is something there that isn't. i dont know why shit has to be so difficult with him. when we're together it's amazing, when we are not.. its like pulling teeth. it is difficult, complicated and i don't know whats going on. i just ignore it and move on.. and thats the problem.